Western?????????

Alright..

So I guess I should discuss how "western" Japanese weddings are performed.

First of all, the couple having the wedding are usually married to start with.  I  don't know why the Japanese do this...but usually they are married a year or more before the actual wedding.  Some people have told me couples marry before their weddings in order to "test" the marriage.  Since most marriages seem to be marriages not based on romantic love, but more on common interests...I guess it's good that there seems to be a testing period.  Another reason why there is a delay in weddings is because the couple themselves, pay for the wedding.  The average wedding is around $20,000 or higher. 

This would be reasonable in a way because the guests usually give the couple $300-$3000 as a wedding gift.  No guest can get away with giving nothing.  No gifts, no cards...just money.

Now, 'western' weddings are held in businesses that are made to "look" western like.  It is in no way close to being western....but it's very clear how the Japanese view westerners when you're placed in a twilight zone like of a Japanese attempt of a western wedding. 

Everything is rented, down to the wedding dress.  There are "rooms" with the top "room" in the stage of a church.  Not a bible can be found in the entire building usually.  No real vows are said...it's just basically a place where pictures are taken.  The families have already been formally introduced in a "waiting" room, this is also where the large sums of cash are given to the couple. 

After the "ceremony" there's another picture moment...and then the tossing of the flowers.  After this is a dinner...and that's where it feels more like a normal wedding. 

No dancing though. 

A lot of talking.  Surprisingly...a lot of bosses and professors talking. 

It's all very Japanese.  Just pure ceremony for the hell of it.  I had a hard time finding real meaning in it all...and just tossed it aside and focused on how the Japanese must view it as a show of passage from one family "house" to another, new "house" forming.  I'm sure traditional Shinto weddings find their ways into these ceremonies as well...because even in Shinto weddings, no one could really explain to me what goes on because no one really cares why they are doing it.  It's just the fact that there is a ceremony and it be done correctly with all the correct responses while spending a butt load of money on it. 

The actual process of getting married is even drier.  Again no vows, no personal promises...it's just a legal contract that you "sign" with your family stamp.  You can do it at a pay window even. 

So...while I enjoyed very much watching my sister in law get "married", I did tell my mother in law that I had no desire to do the same.  I'm sure a lot of Akira's family finds this disappointing...but the truth is...I really don't understand the point of spending a down payment on a home on something that's just pure cermorony.  Nothing legal or official about it.  It's 100% pointless...western view speaking.

I also had a hard time understanding why something costs so much when everything down to the pearls were rented. 

I don't know about some of you other wives, but I look at my dress at least once a week.  I can't image renting something so precious.  But again...the Japanese don't understand what these dresses really stand for..... so I guess it's just a big scam in the wedding industry over there. 

Not saying that it takes away any of the sweetness though.  I still cried like a baby through a good part of it.  And they fully included me as part of the family and were beyond kind to me.

I love Akira's family.

It's just the wedding industry there....it's very much in the phrase of "what the fuck Japan?!"

Here's a sample...

http://www.seiyaku.com/seiyaku/en/western-wedding.html