Half breed rant-ish

Akira is away on work and he's certainly stressed and I am certainly bored and depressed by the constant aching of wanting him to come back home. I see him once or twice a week, either I drive up to LA and stay in his room with him or he comes back down late only to leave early in the morning just to finally get some decent rest here at home. He's starting to burn out and with a good month or so still planned for his travels on the company's stores...I'm worried about it all.

I'm low on engery. I'm actually a bit depressed over a matter that I'm sure if any one ever read this blog would prefer not to know or really care anything about.

My friend had her child today. Made me insanely happy and jealous at the same time. Made me long for marriage and once again hate the time frame given to women and to Akira's visa status which constantly ticks in my head like a bomb waiting to go off on Doom's Day.

I wish my monthly would hit. I think that would ease a good deal of my worries. I keep telling myself that soon life will move into some kind of normal pace...but I've been waiting almost 27 years for that, and it seems that I'm doomed to just wait. Not that I don't try to fight it, try to get out of constantly being in limbo. I wish Akira would make up his mind on where he wants to stay at...here or Japan...because then I could focus on work.

I have to say it saddens me thinking about leaving our little love nest. A lot of things lately make me sad. It's my oncoming birthday...27. Ten years ago I had such a vastly different view of the world.

It's okay. Time passes, things go on, life goes as it wishes.

Perhaps I should change my hair or something...freshin' things up a bit. Though with dark features it's hard to look natural...except stay dark..so maybe a shaping cut...and I'm dying for a good laser treatment.

Hairiness...curse of the Persians for giving us such grasshopperish eyes.

I keep thinking that at least our children should have the correct amount of hair. A Japanese man with a hairy chest??? Not so bad. A woman with a hairy chest...well...instead of a college fund I'll make sure the little gets a laser fund.