Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Walking on Egg Shells


There are a few issues that if Akira and I discuss...it will lead to a massive fight.  One of these have been an issue with us since the very get go. 

Workmates and strippers...and calling it a "meeting". 

Now I had no clue what people meant when they told me that the Japanese were perverted.  Mainly because I had only known Japanese women, and never paid any attention to the men...because...well...I just never found them interesting to be honest.  I really didn't get the entire Asian dating scene.  Where couples never really hung out together, PDA was a no no, and the constant peace sign (victory sign...whatever) being thrown up...I really wondered what their sex was like since the boys seemed immature in my eyes and really selfish and the women were just timided and actually, pretty passionate but never acted like that around men (omg...).  Anyhow...when I started dating Akira, everyone, including my Japanese girl friends...kept warning me about watching his wallet because they didn't consider paying for women as cheating.

Well you better believe I went off on that.  And it turned out that Akira was quite use to using the sex industary...so I quickly made the playing feild even.  Men are jealous, and God forbid if you hurt a man's feelings...it seems like the world is over for them, that some massive betrayial was done by the minor offense the woman did.  Akira didn't understand why I thought it was cheating.  So we went to a strip club (since I almost started stripping myself) and quickly I started showing him the real deal.  How the women hated their clients, the different kinds of abusive treatments, the drug use, ect.  Then I started to make it even.  I started to show him how men that fequented these events saw women as nothing (and I used myself as an example and showed him how men reacted with me)...and then I told him if he had strippers, that I would do the same and go to a male one and put the pictures everywhere.  I told him the truth, I will always make things even.  I'm not into the entire, roll over and let the man do whatever cause he's a man.  Fuck that shit. 

You're a person, I'm a person, we both deserve respect.  End of story.  The sex industry has no place in my life and if you're going to be in my life, it better not be in yours either, otherwise get the fuck out of my life.  Period.  See?  Even now I'm getting pissed.  I guess cause I've been around the industry for the past 6 years, and when I mean around I mean I was literally in it.  Russian dating sites full of Russian women all plotting to marry, get the green card, and rob the man they are with blind, meanwhile cheating on them all along the way.  The parties alone, the cheapest ticket I saw (and the parties were very classy parties no sex involved because it was a match making site) was for $3,000.  The cheapest. 

Then there was the few year stint where I was with Saudi royality, and the shit I saw.  From ordering women off of menus to realizing I was part of harem and that the girls dancing around me were paid by the club to dance around me so no other men would dance around me...well...

I hate the sex industry.  To the core.  The only thing I find acceptable is professional porn where both parties are paid actors and paid fairly, treated fairly.  Other than that, the rest is trash.

So when Akira told me that his now boss and him would go to Mexico for hookers (even though his boss is married), or how he would go to strip clubs, how all the new Japanese coming to America would want to see the strip clubs, or how the other men didn't think it was cool for him to contact me after not hearing from him all day...well...I ripped them apart.  I do mean them.  I really don't give a shit who you are at work, I actually hold zero value to a person on what their job is.  The value comes from how that person lives their life and how they treat others.  If you're married and fucking around, I don't care if you're a God damn billionaire because I have been with a God Damn billionaire.  You're nothing to me but a dog.  When I found out the prince was cheating on me, I threw a packed suitcase to his sleeping head.  No gift will ever ever ever cool me off towards him, and God knows from 21-25 he tried.  It's been nice to actually have a year where I have heard nothing from him.  Anyhow...Akira knows that if I ever caught him at a strip club, hostess bar, anything...I would truly destroy everything.

You break up with me if you're going to do that shit, is what I told him, and I mean it.  It takes two seconds to break up and do whatever the fuck you want.  If you WANT to fuck me, than you can't do whatever else you want.  Cause I'm not some girl on the side of the street, I'm from good breeding and it's wrong.  All the way around wrong to go to those places, especially if you're in a relationship.  If you want to be desperate...then do it alone.

Anyhow...anytime anything even remotely related to that is brought up...we walk carefully around it to make sure we don't accidentlly start a massive fight.  It's something I give the Japanese credit for, they are masters at avoiding conflict and Akira does it pretty.  Sometimes not well enough, in which case he distants himself, avoids me, avoids everything basically. 

That's another thing I'll write about, how we decided to define what lying was, that just because he didn't say it, doesn't mean it wasn't a lie.  That goes into his female friends file.  But that's for another time. 

I would just like to note...that when you're dating Japanese...that these things are massively different then what we as Westerners are use to (and wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy different from what middle easterners do).  But there are advantages to walking on egg shells.  People aren't always going to agree on everything, and sometimes avoiding topics are needed.  Now if he were still using these places, it would not be acceptable to avoid the topic, but since it is now in the past...there is no use in crying over spilt milk.  Live, learn, and move on. 

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