Sunday, October 7, 2012

Now I miss Japan

Sorry I haven't wrote...my uncle died, my grandfather had a heart attack and my grandmother lost her memory due to the trama of it all as soon as we landed back into the states....

It's been very very hard lately...but my view of Japan changed.

I was extremely upset that we couldn't get married since akira's current address is in the states.... It broke my heart on top of the horrible insecurity I was having due to people staring at me and following me around, or taking pictures.... It was really weird and scared the absolute shit out of me... I think I clung onto Akira crying for a good two days because the people were all over me or just point blank staring....

His dad finally told me that I should feel like a celebrerity...that people were staring at me and following me because I was beautiful and have a cute face...but all in all...I was pretty terrorified.  Even when we went to the bank...because we stayed until closing...all the female employees came up to me and were questioning akira about me...and well...I felt like I was in the zoo.  Even the older villagers I helped an older woman to the bathroom and when she looked at me she jumped back and gasped and I even made one poor girl scream...  I really don't know what to make of it...other then it all really hurt my feelings and I felt really alone.  I'm so use to smiling and talking to strangers and laughing...but I couldn't do that in Japan.

I felt safest at Akira's home.  His mom was so kind to me....she even hugged me and told me how much she loves me...his whole family loved me.  They even asked me if I was sure if Akira was good enough for me and I was like...I dunno if I'm good enough for him!  But she would take my arm and walk me through veggie gardens to look at butterflies or would leave me cute sweet treats...and they'll told me they knew it was hard on me but that it will get easier... And they are right...  I miss it there now...I miss his family...

I don't know what to do...if I can survive the move....

We did get our rings though from his uncles store...

It has a pink diamond in the middle and a blue sapphire inside and the engraving Happiness inside too....

I miss his family....  I came home to so much drama...



Japan itself....is beautiful.  I wasn't a fan of the large cities...and yes porn was there I'm full force along with I had an encounter with a pervert at least twice or so a day...but nothing worse then a few pinches except one guy looked at me and licked his lips and all I could think about was the Japanese guy who ate his crush... So... I was a decent freaked out mess.  

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