Being the wife to a Japanese man in today's world means that you should set your clock back about 65 years and get use to the idea of the ideal wife in 1950s America. Most japanese women quit work after getting married. A few will work a year or two, but once that kid pops out, it's like magic, they all stop working and somehow find contentment in being a housewife. I truly do not understand how some women can handle being a housewife, especially to a man that is never around like Japanese men...so it must be a very lonely life. I do find it amazing that Japan has an economy that can still survive on a single family income as opposed to us in the States where both are expected to work...but...perhaps there just aren't enough jobs.
As a result, finding a woman in a high professional position that is not related to fashion or cooking is nearly unheard of...so once more...1950s mind set. I've started to think that the sole reason why many Japanese women even go to college is just in hopes of finding a husband either there or within the first few years of joining the work force. Now of course there are exceptions. There seems to be a tiny feminist movement in which many women just refuse to get married and instead work so they don't have to be a slave to a man that'll most likely cheat on them and never be around, yet be around long enough that the cleaning and cooking never stops...til the day he retires and then the women either get physically sick because the men are around or just suck it up and divorce him. They have names for these men, like a wet leaf and what not...which sounds cruel...until you realize what the hell it means to be a wife to a Japanese man.
First comes first...being submissive.
I'm not talking about just a little bit submissive...I'm talking about full out submission. Her life is no longer her life, it's his life. What time he goes to work, what time breakfast should be, what time dinner should be, having dinner ready and waiting for him to get off work 16 hours later to find out he's drunk and ate at work...ect. Then if you find emails, or weird outings, this too should go unquestioned. On top of the fact that no dish you will ever cook will ever be good enough. You should except his criticisms as hints to improve yourself and since the Japanese never stop improving...you could spend a life time cooking a curry that just doesn't do it for him. After all, you're not his mother or grandmother, so pretty much whatever you cook, it's never amazing. So you see these women going to extremes with food. How it's presented, how it'll mainly be from the raw basics, and how many of them spend a good few hours prepping the dish to be insulted a few hours later by just a nod and a movement towards the TV. This is of course, if he shows up at home at a decent hour, which is probably also very rare. None of this is suppose to upset you, because you have submitted your life to be part of his, not the other way around, and most certainly nothing along the lines of an equal partnership. This submission also comes to play in the bedroom, where sex is solely just the man and the woman just lays there like an expensive piece of tuna, and in fact, being told such is suppose to be a high compliment. Though honestly, if Akira ever told me I fucked like a dead fish...he may never be able to fuck anything ever again. But seriously, it is a 1950s marriage with these guys...and you better believe I've been told to go to the kitchen and make him a sandwich in all seriousness. At first I thought it was just an act...but nope...as soon as I get home, I swear Kennedy is president still. Now the wives usually can go out and about...but there's an unspoken rule...if it's unpleasant, it's never to be brought up. Of course, I can't do nearly half this shit, I swear sometimes I think he married me because of the sex...but anyway...
After being submissive...you must be cute. Which is the thing I find most annoying.
Cute. If you see a cat, instead of calling it a cat, meow. If you see something a little girl should be scared of, hide... basically not only are you a 1950s wife, you're also a 5 year old girl. How to pull sexiness off in such behavior, well a flash of flesh has been the secret of most Japanese women, but to be honest, if you're not suppose to be very active in bed...thhen screw sex if you ask me. So they have to be cute, or act cute, and strive for both. I fail in this 100% of the time, but because I make Akira laugh so much, and because I have moments of complete girlie air headness naturally...I succeed in cute...which pisses me off but I blame this on my voice and my face. What I say and do is hardly cute. Not like anyone can understand me anyway...
So the women are cute. And in all honesty, it's endearing...To watch some of these women keep their extreme girliness while their kid threw up all over them, or how they vacuum and clean without chipping a nail...takes a lot of effort. Again, usually unappreciated and over looked. Japanese women are masters at either being over stated or under stated. I swear, eventually I'll start a bra burning in Tokyo or something.
The last part about being a Japanese man's wife is being alone....almost the entire time.
You need something fixed in the house, you better fix it cause God knows when your husband will be home for where or whatever...and it's usually work related. I'm talking about from 6am til about 11pm, you're on your own a good 5 or 6 days out of the week. I've gotten very use to the alone time. I get depressed about it unless I'm at work or keeping myself very busy. But I'm lucky that Akira actually WANTS to come home. Most Jmen are not like that because they have either freaked themselves out at work to a stressed out basket case, or because there are more interesting activities still outside the home. I highly doubt it's like how it is in the States, where some men are afraid to come home because of the yelling that'll start as soon as they open the door (and Akira gets to have that moment about every six weeks).
Anyhow, the wives are alone. Sometimes they have affairs, but usually...they don't because being a middle aged woman is almost worse then death over there I think, because she's expired milk so to say (as in she fails at playing the little girl because she looks like a woman now) and she doesn't have the power of an older woman, nor the respect. So...like I said, when you marry a Jman, it's not your life anymore, it's his. And my biggest issues with Akira is that he forgets with me, it's we, not him or me. So...that's how we get into fights usually. I'm sure his penis has a lot to do with that fact as well. I can say this, I've gotten a lot handier in the house and with my car even.
So there you have it, you yellow fevered, make up man loving girls. That's what you're longing for.... Good luck!
As for me, I'll fight it all the way, cause I love Akira, but I love myself also. This marriage ain't no one way street unless I'm lying dead on it.
Not only Japanese women but also Asians women are typically known to be a “good wife”, which mean that they listen to their husbands well and make sure that husbands are comfortable at home and do not ask much to help the household cores. However, it is not actually the case in a lot of Japanese wife and husband relationship. Japanese wife may be controlling their husbands most of the time and have more power than their Japanese husbands - See more at: Japanese wife always treat a husband well…may not be actually true and may be a totally wrong!
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