Western?????????

Alright..

So I guess I should discuss how "western" Japanese weddings are performed.

First of all, the couple having the wedding are usually married to start with.  I  don't know why the Japanese do this...but usually they are married a year or more before the actual wedding.  Some people have told me couples marry before their weddings in order to "test" the marriage.  Since most marriages seem to be marriages not based on romantic love, but more on common interests...I guess it's good that there seems to be a testing period.  Another reason why there is a delay in weddings is because the couple themselves, pay for the wedding.  The average wedding is around $20,000 or higher. 

This would be reasonable in a way because the guests usually give the couple $300-$3000 as a wedding gift.  No guest can get away with giving nothing.  No gifts, no cards...just money.

Now, 'western' weddings are held in businesses that are made to "look" western like.  It is in no way close to being western....but it's very clear how the Japanese view westerners when you're placed in a twilight zone like of a Japanese attempt of a western wedding. 

Everything is rented, down to the wedding dress.  There are "rooms" with the top "room" in the stage of a church.  Not a bible can be found in the entire building usually.  No real vows are said...it's just basically a place where pictures are taken.  The families have already been formally introduced in a "waiting" room, this is also where the large sums of cash are given to the couple. 

After the "ceremony" there's another picture moment...and then the tossing of the flowers.  After this is a dinner...and that's where it feels more like a normal wedding. 

No dancing though. 

A lot of talking.  Surprisingly...a lot of bosses and professors talking. 

It's all very Japanese.  Just pure ceremony for the hell of it.  I had a hard time finding real meaning in it all...and just tossed it aside and focused on how the Japanese must view it as a show of passage from one family "house" to another, new "house" forming.  I'm sure traditional Shinto weddings find their ways into these ceremonies as well...because even in Shinto weddings, no one could really explain to me what goes on because no one really cares why they are doing it.  It's just the fact that there is a ceremony and it be done correctly with all the correct responses while spending a butt load of money on it. 

The actual process of getting married is even drier.  Again no vows, no personal promises...it's just a legal contract that you "sign" with your family stamp.  You can do it at a pay window even. 

So...while I enjoyed very much watching my sister in law get "married", I did tell my mother in law that I had no desire to do the same.  I'm sure a lot of Akira's family finds this disappointing...but the truth is...I really don't understand the point of spending a down payment on a home on something that's just pure cermorony.  Nothing legal or official about it.  It's 100% pointless...western view speaking.

I also had a hard time understanding why something costs so much when everything down to the pearls were rented. 

I don't know about some of you other wives, but I look at my dress at least once a week.  I can't image renting something so precious.  But again...the Japanese don't understand what these dresses really stand for..... so I guess it's just a big scam in the wedding industry over there. 

Not saying that it takes away any of the sweetness though.  I still cried like a baby through a good part of it.  And they fully included me as part of the family and were beyond kind to me.

I love Akira's family.

It's just the wedding industry there....it's very much in the phrase of "what the fuck Japan?!"

Here's a sample...

http://www.seiyaku.com/seiyaku/en/western-wedding.html

Still here!

Sorry about the month of silence.  Clearly a lot has been going on.

First....I finally went to Japan and enjoyed the absolute shit out of it!!!!

I still had a lot of people scared of me, but I would instantly start talking to them and they all ended up super warm and friendly, and I got a lot of random gifts from people who just thought I was very cute and funny.  Akira's uncle gave me a pink pearl necklace just on that fact...which was awkward because no one knew how to react to him giving me such a gift, but I wear it all the time now.  LOL.

A number of people thought I was a Disney princess hahaha, so anytime Akira told them no I'm his wife, they'd look at us confused, haha.  Some business men told him good job.  Hahaha.  The immigration officers at the airport kept showing each other my picture and told me I was beautiful.  So instantly...just on arriving, I felt better, haha. 

It makes such a HUGE HUGE HUGE difference being able to talk to people in Japanese.  Oh my goodness... 

I didn't get lost in the Tokyo Station this time either. 

I wasn't skinny this time either...I ended up leaving Japan at the weight of 150 pounds :-(.  But again, I probably got more positive attention then negative.  

The wedding was pretty cute, a little funny, but over all extremely sweet.  Akira's father formally introduced to  everyone as his daughter, and we did all the bowing and the politeness and what not.  Akira's sister had me up with her a few times, and I even got to hold her hand and walk her around as she said her hellos from table to table. 

Isn't she just beautiful???

The after party, after I was pretty buzzed, I ended up smashed at the party.  I got drawn to be on stage to compete in a "how fast can you eat a soy bar and drink down lemon juice" contest.  I would have won but the guys competing with me kept making jokes and I kept laughing so much I couldn't eat.  I even took the microphone and was talking to everyone and everyone was cheering.  I felt like a rock star. 

After the wedding, and all of us were hung over.  His little sister had thrown up all night while his mom cried all night and we were all together drunk in a hotel room (the wine my mother in law drank was labeled "happy wine" lol) ...we staggered to the bullet train and went to Nagaoka.  :-D  Again, his family was great, we went to his uncle's again and got new glasses.

 

 

I know you can't really see it but I'm also wearing the pearls, loool.

 

 

It was just so much fun!  I could shop, I could order food, I could read somewhat...  And then, his family took us to this super fancy sushi place for my sister in law's and mine birthdays!  Again we got smashed, and that was again super fun.

 

We saw the cherry blossoms!  We went to a massive Shinto Shrine and his mom formally wished us happiness, and I wished to be a good family member...and so on and so forth.  We went to two castles and a beautiful wasabi farm.

 

 

It was a really great trip.  It looks like in August we will try to go again for Hanabi....  but we'll see.

 

:-D

 

From my D+ first time to a soring A+++ this time.

 

I still got a little turned off by some things, but now...I understand enough on how to avoid unpleasantness. LOL.

 

 

Sorry for the weirdness of this photo, I didn't sleep well last night looool, but here's a shot of the pearl necklace...pink and the pearls are from Japan and the charm is a sakura <3. 

 

 

 



Breaking up.

Broke up with my two "best" friends.

More details later.

If I start singing...I'll be convinced I'm sucked inside a cartoon.

Today marks two events...

First...Akira and I have been married four months!  YAY!!!!

Second...20 days until Japan!

I have been plotting my return in order to redeem my first experince into a much more enjoyable second experince of our home away from home.  I have been studying my ass off, deiting, learning more Japanese cooking, changed my fashion to something a little less stuck up, and plotted various goals to do for each day spent in Japan.

I will avoid pink areas this time.  Save for a fun love hotel here and there.

I'm very much looking forward to spending more time in the Tokyo area...and I was hoping to go to Kyoto...but it looks like that might not be possible.  I will be going to see a bullfight in the village near Akira's house...so that'll be something...  (not bullfighters, like the bulls just butt horns and then it's over, no harm to them because they are idolized in that village for some reason.  There's a ton of shrines in that area as well.  Last time I scared a snake walking to a shrine and it rolled all the way down the stairs faster than I could reach the bottom screaming...lol.)

Speaking of creatures following me around at work now I have a wild squirral that literally follows me around.  The first few days I thought it was just because I had shiny shoes, but now it follows me from the parking lot to the center, from the center to the mailbox...  I'm sure it's quite a sight for all the businessmen that see me walking around in heels with a little squirral following me.  Akira said it's the cutest damn thing he's ever seen and that I look like a Disney princess with it following me. 

In all honesty, I'm worried for my furry friend and I've stopped two cars from running the poor little guy over.  Yesterday he let me pet him.  Naturally I feed him.  Usually a strawberry or something grainy. 

So yes...that's all that's exciting, married for four months, Japan in 20 days, and I have a wild squirral that follows me around at work. 

So my Japanese class is very small on Saturdays, in fact it's just another girl near my age taking the course.  Yesterday morning she informed me that she was dropping out of Saturday classes and instead going to the Monday night class.  She's not exactly very nice to me...I'm fact I don't think she likes me.   She's a part time accountant at a Japanese company that produces printers...and to be honest I'm not even sure if that part is true...

She's trying to win a trip to Japan...again for reasons I didn't quite understand...

Anyhow yesterday I gave her a gift to say thank you for reviewing some stuff with me, and I even sent her a text afterwards as well...and I got not response.

I don't get it.

Akira has been funky with me too.  We finally hit that silent part in our relationship.  The part where you sit in the car and have nothing to say...it unnerved me a little.

Maybe I'm weird :(.

*Bang bang bang* Is that the door? No..it's in my head.

I am so sleepy!  No more Izakayas for a while.  I've been hung over for two days straight.

Yesterday I was a zombie. Today I'm just tired.

I thought having a little bit more of the snake that bit me would help, but I was wrong.

I ended up doing a strip dance for Akira in the mist of my Izakaya haze.  I woke up not remembering much but I saw where I had ripped off my panties and tied it on Akira....sooooo...sex life is back up to par.

Studying a lot today.

Not retaining a lot.

Had soba yesterday, today will be curry.

I will be so happy when I feel normal again...oi.

you can't see it, but my forehead is actually twitching... 

Prepping

Alright, time to play caught up.

Alaska.

Alaska was beautiful and very very Republican.  We had our tiny misups...but Akira was fine since the entire state seemed to be filled of uniformed, bus riding, Japanese tourist.  And I'm not saying just a few...there were thousands.

It was entertaining for me to see so many super whites and then some many super Japanese, all avoiding each other.  It made me appreciate that I don't live in a place where race is so...black and white.  It's so mixed with such massive communities, I felt shocked to see so many white people in one place.  Akira did too. LOL.  We tried to blend in with the tourist, but since we had no uniforms...  Anyhow... it was a trip.

The hot springs were AMAZING!  It was a huge, boiling lake.  I literally felt myself melting away so I had to sit in the snow every 20 min or so.  I spent my time ease dropping on the Japanese tourist, but luck would have it that I understood nothing save for a "Oh I see" and "watch out the floor changes" and then something about a key.  I know I shouldn't be discouraged.  My Japanese teacher told Akira I'm very fast and that I'm too hard on myself when it comes to studying...but they don't get it.  I want to feel safe in a month when we go to Japan this time.  I want to be able to order my own food and figure out the train system.  And just after four lessons I'm at that point...but nothing else.  So I'm nervous about the wedding, but Akira told me that people stay pretty silent and listen to the speaker, and I can just down a few glasses of whatever has the highest chance of getting me drunk.  Anyhow, Alaska.

Akira's host family, as always, was extremely lovable and sweet.  And the visit over all was great.  We saw massive art sculptures (the hot springs's hotel has a building made of complete ice with a bar (made of ice, even the glasses where made of ice), a natural history museum of Alaska, saw the gold mine his host family is mining, the northern lights, and an arctic bbq with dog sled racing.  It was pretty epic. We also went to the north pole and a native village where we got stared down and Akira got confused as a native himself, looool.

So that was fun.

Other than that, life has gone back to normal.  Sunday night we went to the izakaya Honda-Ya (for those of you in the area, they have a number of locations http://www.izakayahondaya.com/)  and Akira got drunk and told me to start thinking about having children.  Between him and my father...I'm starting to get worried about being forced into being a house wife.

So....that lead to having a serious meeting with my stepmom about the company and how my brother and I still want to work here but my father has kind of lost his mind since his brother has died.  Which is 100% okay, but it's becoming an issue at work.  So...that's still in process..

Our sex life is hitting a bump...mainly because I can't get Akira to focus on anything other than work.  Even on our date at Honda-Yo he was texting and emailing and it took all I could to just not have his phone swim in the sake along with him.

Anyhow...  Saturday we finally have a day together (after my class)...so...here's hoping on getting lucky.

Still paranoid.