Me Love You Long Time

I did a mistake I think....sexually....

Yesterday I wore under my little black dress....a full on set of naughty underwear...from the belted tight stockings, to laced pink and black bra-thong set...to four inch lace high heels....

I wore that crap all day long under my dress (I sent Akira pics of course to let him stew about it during the day...which he did).

Anyhow, Akira got off early, came to my office and brought me a box of Japanese treats...along with some nice bath stuff. 

Really sweet right? 

Very sweet.

So anyhow, the night progresses and well...he finished and passed out...and I was well...not done....

So I stayed awake until about 3am just as pissed off as I could be cause I really wasn't finished....it had been weeks since we've had rockin sex like that...I was blind folded and tied up...everything.  I worked that shit. 

So at 3am I go to the bathroom to just...well..deal with it myself, when out pops a beatle and I scream like bloody murder waking Akira up.  The poor guy...I let him have it.  I poured myself a glass of wine and just told him he was selfish, that he just passed out after all that...and the poor guy...he really didn't deserve that.  I rarely climax during sex.  I enjoy sex mainly for the closeness of it, but I really really insecure during the act of it...for some reason. 

But yeah...I feel horrible about how I tore into him.  And what an awful thing to do to a man...to shoot him down sexually...I may as well have cut off his balls while I was at it.

He's not selfish at all. 

So I came back into the room and started thanking him for everything, and telling him I was sorry that it was just really bad timing (it was), and that he's super generous with me...but...that it's nice to have stuff and things...I just missed him.  Which is true.  I really miss Akira when he goes into major work mode.  Dinners and trips and stuff...that's all fun...but....the best thing he can do is just hold me, love me, make love to me...like all the time, lol.  We could live in a box but as long as he was all over me, it's all good to me.  His kisses literally make me dizzy.  I love him like crazy.

I feel awful that I did that...I've said sorry to him over and over...but....I think the only thing that will fix it is if he succeeds a few times with me sexually...so I've got to get over my fear.   I get worried that I make weird faces...or that I'm too loud...or something I do will turn him off. 

But the blind folding last night...actually relaxes me...so...

He took a picture of me to show me what he sees during it cause I'm worried I look weird...and I still look weird...but at least he likes it. 

I love him so much...I just can't believe I couldn't keep my mouth shut....poor guy.  The last thing he needs right now is for me to pop the shit out of his ego bubble.  He needs the ego bubble right now.

I need to figure out how to restore it....so....any tips???

Maybe I should act super helpless this weekend... I dunno...  I want to get him a gift, but even that I doubt would do the trick. I have one more new naughty outfit yet to use...