While I was in Japan, even though it was short...I experienced a lot...Akira told me I probably went through more then most tourist ever do and maybe that's why my shock was so bad...but...during the witnessing of husbands with hookers at Love Hotels, and the groping, the massive massive xenophobia the Japanese have, and how, despite all the dysfunction...Japan itself is pretty wow. Good wows, bad wows...just wow. I can understand why the catch phrase WTF Japan?! caught on...it truly is...What ...the...Fuck....
But I guess it's just different...in every way...different. Not bad, not good, just massively, completely different.
During my time, I went through proper-ish marriage things, and introductions, ect... but I also saw the very real leading cause of death in Japan (number 5 cause of death according to the latest country toll)...suicide.
I'm not going to go into details of it...but I can completely understand it in Japan.
Japan. It's wonderful...to look at...okay...to be a part of it, if you are ever accepted as part of Japan...but the Japanese are pros at isolating themselves and everyone around them. Everyone seems to be an island. No real emotions seep around...and there's a strain to keep it that way.
It's so easy to get depressed...I felt it in a lot of people. It makes sense now...why CUTE is so important in Japan...in fact, I even saw on the news over there where they claim the kwaii market will save Japan's economy...or the sex rate or ease the suicide rate. It's such a high pressured, cut off from other people society, that I can say, pretty boldly, most Japanese people do not even fall in love...because the personal interaction is so programed...it's impossible. It explains why affairs and the sex industry are every day ordeals...or why housewives or women in general stay child like. Japan is no place for true adult emotion. Love? No...no Romeos there...save for maybe in the end there may be a suicide or two. Separate bedrooms...saw that in full force. Men and women, leading separate lives, as if the existence of each other is only for the benefit of society and the children, and even parents interacting with children is pretty low on emotions too...not saying the parents don't love their kids, all parents love their kids...but no hugs after a certain age...no I love yous...
The fact is...it's a very very programed society...void of expression of true emotion...down to the core family unit even.
The programming is comforting...but only if you have everything society says you should have by certain age, sex, blah blah blah...so any failure to that leads to people isolating from you even further...til one day...bam! You kill yourself...or try to. Broken hearts, loss of school or job...it seems to be a very unforgiving society...if you fail in any way you fall out of the conformity...and then, bam...extreme loneliness. Just because you're different. And trust me, if you're not Japanese, you'll be isolated anyway due to their xenophobia.
It's down right scary.
So...then...you know...there's therapy...but again...it's Japanese therapy, and I have serious serious doubts that it's effective in any form or way.
So...in that respect...Japan's loneliness...broke my heart. It is by far the main reason why I struggled there and why I doubt the move now. I even started cringing at the fake laughter between school children. So... it's very very very sad to see that...but at the same time, Japan would not be Japan without such a society. After all, rule number one in Japan is to follow the rules. That's repeated in just about every ancient document I saw there. Follow the rules.
I would highly suggest those of you dreaming of Japan...to do whatever you can to never get isolated. Even I got extremely depressed when left alone, because even with the crowd, no one talks to each other...no one mingles and no one really cares so long as you're safe. If you're in danger, everyone will be there, but oddly, no one is there when you are in danger of yourself.
Here's an article...I've been getting some angry emails from expats who are so engulfed in their yellow fever, or anime, or geshia fetishes that even though they have or are in Japan, fail to see what I saw, but I'm not part of any of that bullshit. I went to Japan and faced reality because I'm moving there, and God knows I'm far from having yellow fever, I can honestly say I found very few people attractive and those that I did were women. Course...I'm a woman who loves a man with a full hearted laugh...which is why I fell for Akira...but I didn't hear any of those laughs, save from maybe the time I broke danced in the elevator to keep people from running out.
So please don't yell at me saying I'm bashing Japan, I'm not. I'm pointing out shit so white geeks with weird fetishes who are depressed here don't go over there thinking it's something completely different and end up offing themselves anyway but over there because they have anime boob glasses on or some weird shit like that. People gotta face reality. The reality is...if you hate your life in the States, you'll most likely hate it even more in Japan because no one really gives a shit if you have problems or not and if you voice them over there, no one will want to even acknowledge your existence because your emotions make you weird so weird is avoided. So....take care of your shit, and once you have moved on...if you want to live in Japan, pack the Prozac and go for it.
It's not like anime at all...Japan....and it's not a place to yellow fever it out.
It's a real country with real people with real problems....just like the rest of the world.