Nasty Habits

Everyone has habits...

Mine is twirrling my hair. 

I do this mainly at work...or driving...(which has caused me to get pulled over cause I guess it looks like I'm talking on my cell phone...). 

It's an annoying habit...and extremely hard for me to break.  Let me tell you this, I have had more success not smoking then I have from not touching my hair.

And I've had satin next to me, or other random things of softness...but I cannot stop touching it!  I'm almost 28 and I have a habit that most five year olds break out of....

I really don't know what to do and it's annoying because if I'm in a business meeting or dealing with a client, if I'm nervous...I'll start attacking my hair and EVERYONE knows why.  One of my clients even asked me if it soothes me that much...and I told her I don't even realize when I do it.

I never ever did it until after 9/11.

I had gotten threatened and beat up for...well...being middle eastern (even though I'm half and I'm NOT ARAB!!!!!)  that my mother took me to JCPenny wear a black woman in tears cut and dyed my hair blonde.  That was what...12 years ago????

I had never had my hair short before that, so the weight of my curly mess was gone, and here was this smooth, soft as air, straight hair...omg...I loved to touch it.  I don't know if I find it soothing...or that it's due to any kind of trama...

And I have no idea how to over come it...

But I do twirl a lot when I'm nervous...in fact, in Japan, I was twirling so hard that I would pull out hair...so Akira finally treathened me with mittens so I stopped. 

I don't know how to break it...I'd really like to stop my nervous twitches...I also shake a lot when I'm in public...but that could very well be due to too much coffee and extremely difficult shoes...