I Smell Something...

I think I have wondered off on what this blog is really suppose to be about.  I ended up bitching and crying so much that I haven't really related any of it to...nationality???  

I really have no idea what the fuck this blog is about. 

I guess we can touch on social interactions and how they are different.

Akira is not a very social animal however he does have a social "mask".  This "mask" is what I guess the Japanese refer to as honne.  Now...I understand everyone puts up a social front...though I'm not very good at it...  anyhow, Akira's honne is this cool guy with a lot of energy and...dominate.  I actually find him to be a bit of an ass, but that's because I know who he is now...back when I didn't know Akira...I just thought he was a playboy who was too serious about work.  That impression was due to his honne and lead me to believe a false identity mainly because I was stupid and didn't factor his culture into our first few meetings.  Had I done that, I would have saved myself a lot of paranoia.  So...if you are considering a Jman...just remember you won't meet the real guy for a while...and you have to break down the wall of bullshit that honne has enforced all his life.  All i can tell you is...good luck with that.  It drove me nuts.  His honne still drives me nuts, and probably my biggest pet peev with him other than the other stereo type he falls into... 

I have no idea how to tweak this aspect of him into a friendly version that is closer to who he really is...and I blame that on the fact that he grew up in such a male dominated area...however...it's more of a pride domination rather then an aggressive domination like it is here in the States.  I don't think Japanese men are very aggressive...at all.  Even in business...I see it more as dedication towards a company rather then aggressive ambition.  A lot of Japanese men are passive aggressive and perhaps that is due to the fact that surface harmony is more important than...well...honestly, even God or love or anything that includes personal harmony because group harmony is more important.   Here in the States there's a phrase for it," keep the bullshit flying. "  I think that sums up what honne is actually for...and I think it's both useful and harmful equally.  

And in many of my social interactions with friends and throwing Akira in the mix...extremely annoying and confusing with a decent dash of..."we will talk about this when we are alone".  

By far...the most annoying aspect to get use to for me as an American...the absence of pointing out the b.s.