Move is complete and trip is back on

So Akira's boss gave Akira the ok for both the move into our beautiful new home and the time needed at the end of sept to go to Japan. My brother however left the business so now I can't do my cram course because I'm the only manager right now so.... That's a little of a set back but okay.


Everything is okay... Lol... Just keeping calm and carrying on ;-)

Akira debating to go into storage or not lol I love him <3

Japantown, USA

I was a little upset that I was failing so much at cheering Akira up yesterday that this morning I came across the interesting tid bit that he was currently working a city with the oldest Japantown outside of Japan (naturally...).  So I texted him the info on this as soon as I could and his response was cheery.

There are a TON of Japanese people in California, in 2000 there were almost 5 million alone that called California home...so I'm sure with the huge amount of Japanese companies head quatered here and how almost every city has a Japantown...that the number may be double that.  Of course California just has a ton of people from all over the world, but three races in particular...Mexican, Japanese, and interestingly enough, Persians.  Akira and I always wonder where the white people went.  And I'm not talking about those that are sprinkled here and there...we literally get giddy when we find a town (cause it sure ain't any of the cities) that mainly white dominated. 

Anyhow....as a result not only are there full out Japanese schools and full out Japanese universities, but like I said, a TON of Japantowns.  I'm hoping that this will help ease my shock...but so many of the Japanese people have been here so long that Akira calls them fake Japan.  San Diego and Orange County probably have the most fresh off the plane Japanese families...though they are all buried in companies (like Akira himself) or school (like Naseem) that it's hard to interact with them unless you're involved in whatever they are involved in...so...I guess I'm...lucky?  Cause I've never befriended a Japanese person who hadn't just came from Japan...so I've never really encountered the "fake" Japanese.  Akira has though...and find them extremely strange since they act both ways...but I told him that's unfair because he's the same way...he's just more Japanese while the second generation on down are more American.  Hell...I know I'm way more American then Iranian.  I hope other Persians don't look down on my like Akira does with these groups.  Look down on is hard wording...more like...he's disappointed that they aren't more Japanese...I guess.

Anyhow...I'm hoping the suggestion for him to go visit this Japantown won't back fire on me like the one in San Fransico did for New Years.  Otherwise...I'm just going to get him a membership at a laser tag arena or something so he can cope with handing his project over to the next manager because I'm pretty sure that's why he's sad. 

I loved San Fran though....clearly, looool.

The announcement

Well Akira decided that this week would be the week to announce that we would be skipping tradition and marrying as soon as possible so he could bring me back with him to Japan . During the entire process though I felt like he was too cocky and belittled me a lot which was weird because shouldn't announcing marriage be about boosting ur partner instead? Shouldn't you be like, oh I'm with her because she is wonderful and I love her instead of poking jokes at me all the time and making me feel like poop. Yes it is kind he asked permission to marry me and yes it takes a lot of guts to tell parents who haven't even met me... But his jokes are always at my expense.

Anyhow, i felt very over shadowed today, like he was running the show and I had to go along with it down to the point that he ordered my meal and chose not my side dishes because they were standard but he choose my meat actually without even asking. Then I had been suggesting that we should get married when his old host parents were in town because they r like family to him. The parents r coming in June anyway for a visit so I was like sure why not? But he kept rejecting it until finally his host mom suggested it and then when he told me it was like he had never heard the suggestion before. It was too much today. Too much lately he's gotten very controlling not over me but just on whatever he wants to do.

Again I realize he is naive that he doesn't even realize these things make me want to slap him sometimes, so.... I have to bring it up... Gently. A little bit bit of an ego is okay, and I know he feels very secure and very excited. He feels like he's winning which is sweet. But sweet guy got flipped for work Akira and i can't stand the ego trip that persona has so I'm afraid a decent fight is going to come. Most likely over something stupid, like ordering my meat. I just wanted to give the back ground on it before I seem like I'm a screw or two loose. I'm not going to tolerate a husband who is bossy. But I do love the man. Just times like this when I have to turn into a slightly monstrous version of myself is never enjoyable and I always hate making him feel bad. Or this could be the result of all the stress the announcement has caused. Which is why I didn't unleashed hell on him today. I know he uses humor when he feels nervous, I'm just not a fan of his humor since it entails lowering me. But I know what to tell him, since he was bullied in school I'll tell him that it feels like he's bulling me. That is a quick way to put back the consideration which he's usually flawless at.

Concerns over going to Japan

I know that this blog is suppose to be about how Japanese men aren't horrible and blah blah blah...but there is one factor that is extremely concerning to me (besides the fact that my degree is utterly useless there and job hunting will be a challenge). Japan's sex industry. Now...we're going to get a bit personal here...I'm a survivor (well..I don't know exactly what I am) of child to adult sexual and physical abuse. I basically had about 14 years of it non-stop...from step parents to partners...in an extremely sadistic manner. So this lead me to...oh I want to a lawyer!...phase...which resulted in studying, befriending, and understanding hookers and strippers in the USA. I have to say a lot of them are my closest friends because we all went through the same ordeal. Anyhow...long story short, I think every part of the sex industry except professionally made porn should be illegal because it is EXTREMELY abusive to women. For those of you who would like to read up more on the subject there are several research papers out there complete with interviews on how much the women HATE HATE HATE the men that go to such places and use such services, how most of them are basically inslaved to it...yada yada yada.

I'll post a link at the end of this post....though I'm sure most men react the same way Akira did. When Akira asked me about my little stint in the industry (not performing or anything...I was just studying and debating if it was worth it...which it's not) I started to tell him how every single woman I met has an abusive background, how the customers (say in a lap dance) still abuse women (saying things, touching, stalking, harrassing, ect) how the women hated the customers, how they were constantly beaten up by pimps, club managers, ect... how most of them were drug addicts along with suffers of a number of STDs, how most sank further and further due to the contuining abuse (that through mental illness they chose do...because abusive women hit a cycle where they only feel powerful through sexuallity or they think it's the only thing they are good for since many of them have suicidal self esteem views and a good deal end up killing themselves) and I went on and on...

Well Akira got mad and was like, Stop it! You are ruining my fantasy!

I'm sure when the South had slaves and thought it was for the better they were equally upset at the "fantasy" being ruined by good common and sense and human rights.

With that said...Japan's second largest income (first being cars) is their sex industry...and I for one am terrorified at Akira falling into habit of these things again. Before I met him, he was sexless for a good few years and relied on the industry...then came to the States where thankfully he did not employ hookers but did fancy a few nights at the local and not so local strip clubs and hostess bars (here in San Diego there is an insane amount of Japanese people here...so naturally massage palors, hostess clubs, ect made their nasty ways out here).

And good lord the fights we had the first few months. The fights we have still if it's even barely brought up. I must say, the only time I truly want to beat the shit out of a man is when he uses such demeaning means of release. I would perfer him to go to dating sites or something..something to where he was desired as a person and not as this perv using his wallet for his kicks.

So...that changed dramatically since we've been together, one because I'm constantly keeping him in our bedroom (and I don't want to toot my own horn but I do enjoy what I do very much so) and two because I forced him to see for himself the horrors of the sex industry and the effect is has on a person. I went through an entire ordeal trying to make him see that he was seeing women solely as sex toys and not as real people...ect ect ect.

So with all this progress and my lack of hope in Japanese men considering it seems to be the norm for them to have that or mistresses....I'm terrorified of what will happen in Japan since I know he misses being with a Japanese woman (I truly hope it's not for the fake child like screaming).

So that's one of my concerns. And I'm extremely disappointed that people seem so passe about these things...it just shows more and more that it's a man's world. I would love the chance to degrade a few of these guys to the scum they really are...but...alas....I'm just a girl.

Here's a link to a three page research paper on strippers...I'm sure if you were able to read this blog then this is a piece of cake. http://www.uri.edu/artsci/wms/hughes/stripc1.htm