I'm a little better now....I get extremely nervous about things I can't plan...or prepare myself for...Akira's planning usually never involves details...and since I can't even make a real plan for going over there because I have zero clue about what I'm about to get into...I feel like I'm walking on a high rope completely blind....with friends and family telling me where to step next and Akira holding me telling me to walk. I get pretty nervous. I get worried about being replaced by a Japanese girl...or how I'll be handicapped career wise over in Japan....in fact the work part upsets me so bad that sometimes on my way to work now I'll just cry. I can't picture myself not working. It's truly one of the few things that keeps me sane is to always have a job.
I got a few emails for some of you...and let me just say...thank you soooooo much....they made me feel a lot better and were full of amazing advice <3 The thing that assures me is that everyone pretty much said similar things about my MIL ordeal and coping with Akira's corkiness. I really should be more confident in everything...and these emails really really helped me <3 Please, I'm looking for any kind of advice or anything to prepare myself for what I'm about to get involved in....and I'm pretty damn scared and it's hard for me to get excited about leaving everyone and everything I love here....even if it's just for a few years...and even that can easily be extended...There's nothing but my desire to live in the States that can bring us back.
Anyhow....I just want to say thank you to everyone out there...I didn't realize how many people were reading this....sorry about my awful grammer and spelling. I write fast and never check or edit...though I should start to do that...
____________
In other news....I found out what senna leaf is.....my green tea had quite the kick....
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Massive diet time....
Anyhow...I'm using natural engery pills, green sliming tea (which smells like Vicks Vapor rub for some reason...) and good old Ramadan.
As a result, I am one cracky bitch who is overly protective of my clear gummy bears (allowed in diet...)
Why the sudden crash diet? Well..I am going to Japan the second week of Sept....and I think we are getting hitched actually (courthouse as well...speeds up the visa process if we just get hitched in both areas) ...AND...I won't be staying at Akira's house because one, I think his mom hates me with a passion and two...Akira's sister's fiance is staying (I was invited first, but what the fuck ever) so there won't be room for me.
That's fine.
You know why? Because I'm pretty sure I'm going to fucking hate it there. I just pray we are back in the States when I'm 30. I'm sooooooo....not excited anymore.
Anyhow, I'm 140 pounds...and I need to drop to around 128-125 pounds in the next six weeks...which is completely possible...just horrible to deal with....
But that'll put me at a size 2 (European) cause I swear if Akira's family thinks I'm fat someone is gonna get hurt cause at 140 I look completely normal (thank you height).
So here's the before.....hopefully my arms and tummy will get smaller....I also plan to walk a lot...and hike a ton on the weekends....
*sigh*
Fucking diets. You men better appericate this shit.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
So we went to Vegas
We went to Vegas...and there were a lot of decent moments...but...Akira was extremely moody.
He cannot socialize to save his life, and his nervousness about it actually makes him aggressive to an embarrassing point. But...let's start from the begining.
In the begining I started the trip wrong. I was cranky because we were late and we actually MISSED the wedding...but I tried to shrug it off because we did make the reception...so give and take.
That day Akira was pretty good, except he was so socially ackward that anytime he thought I was acting socially wrong (for instance I was walking behind the bride to say hi to her sister and Akira grabbed me so hard I bruised until I told him ouch, I'm going BEHIND the picture not in front of it, and he left go because heads turned)....nothing annoys me more about him in public then this move. I understand he's doing it to guide me, but it's so annoying because...one...I can see and walk at the same time, and two, he over does it to an extreme and actually socially hinders me in the process. Just over all annoying....so I finally just asked him what the fuck his problem was when he was in public.
I basically got no real answer other than he's so nervous about being around people that he can't enteract. He's like that at work too, he can't break the barriers and talk to people like they are people, not Gods or robots.
So...that's just something that I'll have to deal with...but it was a bit annoying.
Then I won a few times, enough for the winnings to pay for front row seats for the show Love (which was amazing!) and an amazing lunch the next day...so except for the room and gifts we got...the trip pretty much paid for itself. I had a real good time and really enjoyed Vegas....
Sunday though....except for when we were eating....Akira was really moody. In the morning he was giving me attitude because he thought we were late for check out (which we weren't because check out is late in Vegas...but you know, since he knows all why the hell should he believe me?) on top of that....we needed toothpaste, and I kept asking him to get some at the front desk but he was too paranoid about being late for check out that he didn't even want to face the front desk. Then he went on and on about how it took me so long to get ready (he said three hours, but it was really only two because we messed around for an hour) and how if I had to go somewhere early I would have to wake up at 4am...and on and on and on...and I was like, you know what? It doesn't usually take me two hours, we're in fucking Vegas I never to get to dress up anymore and I want to dress up so I will take the fucking extra hour and look like a fucking model thank you very much. And...then he told me that the toothpaste was over priced and that's why he didn't get it *which is a lie* and I was like, well you can drop $200 in a slot machine but if toothpaste is $5 then forget it????
I tried really hard to have fun, and when Akira chilled the fuck out he was okay....but he seriously pissed me off a few times....making the trip lame....
And you know why he was such a bitch about the trip? Because he wasn't in control of it and if he got a little control, he couldn't keep it because the trip wasn't about him, it was about my friends getting married...and him finally taking me on a date, which he didn't even have to pay for because I won enough to cover it...so...
Gah.
But...I will go to Vegas again...I found a few hotels that so far are decent...with decent crowds...
I really wish Akira would just relax sometimes and allow me to be the social butterfly. His life would improve if he chilled out and let me shine once in a while.
He cannot socialize to save his life, and his nervousness about it actually makes him aggressive to an embarrassing point. But...let's start from the begining.
In the begining I started the trip wrong. I was cranky because we were late and we actually MISSED the wedding...but I tried to shrug it off because we did make the reception...so give and take.
That day Akira was pretty good, except he was so socially ackward that anytime he thought I was acting socially wrong (for instance I was walking behind the bride to say hi to her sister and Akira grabbed me so hard I bruised until I told him ouch, I'm going BEHIND the picture not in front of it, and he left go because heads turned)....nothing annoys me more about him in public then this move. I understand he's doing it to guide me, but it's so annoying because...one...I can see and walk at the same time, and two, he over does it to an extreme and actually socially hinders me in the process. Just over all annoying....so I finally just asked him what the fuck his problem was when he was in public.
I basically got no real answer other than he's so nervous about being around people that he can't enteract. He's like that at work too, he can't break the barriers and talk to people like they are people, not Gods or robots.
So...that's just something that I'll have to deal with...but it was a bit annoying.
Then I won a few times, enough for the winnings to pay for front row seats for the show Love (which was amazing!) and an amazing lunch the next day...so except for the room and gifts we got...the trip pretty much paid for itself. I had a real good time and really enjoyed Vegas....
Sunday though....except for when we were eating....Akira was really moody. In the morning he was giving me attitude because he thought we were late for check out (which we weren't because check out is late in Vegas...but you know, since he knows all why the hell should he believe me?) on top of that....we needed toothpaste, and I kept asking him to get some at the front desk but he was too paranoid about being late for check out that he didn't even want to face the front desk. Then he went on and on about how it took me so long to get ready (he said three hours, but it was really only two because we messed around for an hour) and how if I had to go somewhere early I would have to wake up at 4am...and on and on and on...and I was like, you know what? It doesn't usually take me two hours, we're in fucking Vegas I never to get to dress up anymore and I want to dress up so I will take the fucking extra hour and look like a fucking model thank you very much. And...then he told me that the toothpaste was over priced and that's why he didn't get it *which is a lie* and I was like, well you can drop $200 in a slot machine but if toothpaste is $5 then forget it????
I tried really hard to have fun, and when Akira chilled the fuck out he was okay....but he seriously pissed me off a few times....making the trip lame....
And you know why he was such a bitch about the trip? Because he wasn't in control of it and if he got a little control, he couldn't keep it because the trip wasn't about him, it was about my friends getting married...and him finally taking me on a date, which he didn't even have to pay for because I won enough to cover it...so...
Gah.
But...I will go to Vegas again...I found a few hotels that so far are decent...with decent crowds...
I really wish Akira would just relax sometimes and allow me to be the social butterfly. His life would improve if he chilled out and let me shine once in a while.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Oh my!
I saw a guy on a motorcycle today driving in football pad gear.
He looked like an moron...but I think he's probably the smartest guy on a motorcycle around.
Stupid to have one, but at least he was smart enough to use his old gear while on it.
He looked like an moron...but I think he's probably the smartest guy on a motorcycle around.
Stupid to have one, but at least he was smart enough to use his old gear while on it.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
1,000 cranes for Mom
So...if you've been keeping up then you'll know that my mother is a fighter and survivor of a few cancers. She defended cervixal and ovarian cancer...but is fighting bladder and skin cancer. She was in remission until recently, and is now going through another stint of kemo. So Akira came up with an amazing gift. A thousand paper cranes.
There are a few stories on this...but one of the reasons for making this long task of paper birds is a form of love...a wish to get well. Now they are also used at weddings, decor, ect...but there is a sweet story of a little girl who was sick and made them (one story says she finished, another said she died and it was finished and then buried with her later...either way she was sick), so it's popular for the Japanese to make these paper prayers whenever there is somone they love that is sick and they are pretty much helpless to help.
So all week long Akira and I have been working on them, and it's taking forever! But it's a great gift.
In other news we are going to Vegas for the weekend for a wedding. I hate Vegas. It is by far the trashest place in the USA. I hate it hate it hate it. It's over priced and wayyyyyyyyyyyy over rated. The clubs suck, the gambling sucks, the rooms suck. I mean, LA beats Vegas any day in everyway. But I hate the people there the most. They seem to be hicks from all corners of the world who come out for a week and pretend to be rich when clearly they aren't if they gasp at a $15 cocktail. They party like slobs and become a sea of vomit smelling perverts.
Clearly I'm going for the wedding and coming right back.
Almost thought about using Dad's new plane...but I doubt Dad will let his precious out of his sight. Too bad, I'd really like to take Akira up.
So...yes...still having issues getting laid due to the pets being so needy. So the up side to Vegas is that I can finally lock Akira in and give him some proper lovin'.
I need to pay more attention to Akira I think. I've been so busy with the animals and trying to set everything up that I feel like I'm neglecting Akira. So when he comes home today I'll give him a bath and feed him some rich Persian food.
He's such a good man. I feel like I'm surround with adorable faces whenever I come home <3.
There are a few stories on this...but one of the reasons for making this long task of paper birds is a form of love...a wish to get well. Now they are also used at weddings, decor, ect...but there is a sweet story of a little girl who was sick and made them (one story says she finished, another said she died and it was finished and then buried with her later...either way she was sick), so it's popular for the Japanese to make these paper prayers whenever there is somone they love that is sick and they are pretty much helpless to help.
So all week long Akira and I have been working on them, and it's taking forever! But it's a great gift.
In other news we are going to Vegas for the weekend for a wedding. I hate Vegas. It is by far the trashest place in the USA. I hate it hate it hate it. It's over priced and wayyyyyyyyyyyy over rated. The clubs suck, the gambling sucks, the rooms suck. I mean, LA beats Vegas any day in everyway. But I hate the people there the most. They seem to be hicks from all corners of the world who come out for a week and pretend to be rich when clearly they aren't if they gasp at a $15 cocktail. They party like slobs and become a sea of vomit smelling perverts.
Clearly I'm going for the wedding and coming right back.
Almost thought about using Dad's new plane...but I doubt Dad will let his precious out of his sight. Too bad, I'd really like to take Akira up.
So...yes...still having issues getting laid due to the pets being so needy. So the up side to Vegas is that I can finally lock Akira in and give him some proper lovin'.
I need to pay more attention to Akira I think. I've been so busy with the animals and trying to set everything up that I feel like I'm neglecting Akira. So when he comes home today I'll give him a bath and feed him some rich Persian food.
He's such a good man. I feel like I'm surround with adorable faces whenever I come home <3.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Well....we got a cat...that I swear looks and acts just like a boy Luna.
So...we have a tiny dog and a tiny cat...that makes our apartment...seem tiny...hahaha, but very active.
Akira is on cloud nine. He is soooooooooooo happy.
It's nice that anytime I need to change his mood, I just dangle something cute in front of him. It's so funny cause everytime I do it I laugh and make fun of how Japanese he is...all in good fun though.
Our sex life has gone down a bit due to the bed sharing with the animals...so I moved the cat (Ramen...cause it's also the name of a Persian King and means joyful in farsi...and Akira thinks the name is extremely entertaining because we both say it with different accents) out of the bedroom, but Buddy is just too much of a crier to do that, plus he sleeps all night on top of our pillows...so...I just keep him out til the deed is done and then bring him back in...
The cat though....attacks. So...he won't be sleeping in our room until he learns to behave while we are misbehaving.
Anyhow, we went most of the weekend without it, so I jumped Akira this morning after failing to seduce him last night because he was in the cute trace of the cat and the catnip bubbles he was blowing for the cat to pop.
I have to figure out a way to solve this problem...
Rely for Life was okay, I got sand in my eyes, so I was literally blind all night long, so Akira walked me around the track a few times until we finally my eyes finally were able to open because the puffiness went down.
It freaked me out some...but my eyes are so grasshopper like, that I felt stupid for not preparing for sand to get in them. Last year I wore sunglasses. Lesson learned. Stacy, the sweet blond, was amazing as always, she was team captin and was pretty adorable the entire time. I still can't believe Akira never went for her, if I were a man, I'd marry her. LOL! She's just soooooooooo happy and soooo sweet that you can't help for adore her.
Other than that, this weekend was full of vet visits and saving Ramen at the shelter (we got him half off because he was about to take the long walk...so I love him...I'm so happy we got him.) Buddy, our yorkipoo...thinks Ramen is the greatest toy we ever got him...though Ramen has finally made it clear that he isn't a toy and this resulted in Buddy actually crying about it in our room. It feels like I'm a mom to some degree but they do make the home more loving. They are both very sweet, and I have to admit, when I have Akira, Buddy and Ramen all snuggled up to me, I feel pretty damn happy.
They have seperation anxity though...looooool. Ramen even hops in the shower with me dispite his hate towards water, he'll suck it up and meow as I rush to get out. LOL!!! All three of them, they just hop in the shower whenever I'm in there. I haven't had the chance to take a bath in two weeks. I'm going to try to sneak one in tonight.
But I'm really happy. Cuteness everything. Thank you God.
And it's Ramadan!!!!
So...we have a tiny dog and a tiny cat...that makes our apartment...seem tiny...hahaha, but very active.
Akira is on cloud nine. He is soooooooooooo happy.
It's nice that anytime I need to change his mood, I just dangle something cute in front of him. It's so funny cause everytime I do it I laugh and make fun of how Japanese he is...all in good fun though.
Our sex life has gone down a bit due to the bed sharing with the animals...so I moved the cat (Ramen...cause it's also the name of a Persian King and means joyful in farsi...and Akira thinks the name is extremely entertaining because we both say it with different accents) out of the bedroom, but Buddy is just too much of a crier to do that, plus he sleeps all night on top of our pillows...so...I just keep him out til the deed is done and then bring him back in...
The cat though....attacks. So...he won't be sleeping in our room until he learns to behave while we are misbehaving.
Anyhow, we went most of the weekend without it, so I jumped Akira this morning after failing to seduce him last night because he was in the cute trace of the cat and the catnip bubbles he was blowing for the cat to pop.
I have to figure out a way to solve this problem...
Rely for Life was okay, I got sand in my eyes, so I was literally blind all night long, so Akira walked me around the track a few times until we finally my eyes finally were able to open because the puffiness went down.
It freaked me out some...but my eyes are so grasshopper like, that I felt stupid for not preparing for sand to get in them. Last year I wore sunglasses. Lesson learned. Stacy, the sweet blond, was amazing as always, she was team captin and was pretty adorable the entire time. I still can't believe Akira never went for her, if I were a man, I'd marry her. LOL! She's just soooooooooo happy and soooo sweet that you can't help for adore her.
Other than that, this weekend was full of vet visits and saving Ramen at the shelter (we got him half off because he was about to take the long walk...so I love him...I'm so happy we got him.) Buddy, our yorkipoo...thinks Ramen is the greatest toy we ever got him...though Ramen has finally made it clear that he isn't a toy and this resulted in Buddy actually crying about it in our room. It feels like I'm a mom to some degree but they do make the home more loving. They are both very sweet, and I have to admit, when I have Akira, Buddy and Ramen all snuggled up to me, I feel pretty damn happy.
They have seperation anxity though...looooool. Ramen even hops in the shower with me dispite his hate towards water, he'll suck it up and meow as I rush to get out. LOL!!! All three of them, they just hop in the shower whenever I'm in there. I haven't had the chance to take a bath in two weeks. I'm going to try to sneak one in tonight.
But I'm really happy. Cuteness everything. Thank you God.
And it's Ramadan!!!!
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