There's the door

I have no issues leaving... In fact I just left to get some m&m.... Mom and margaritas.... Akira is such an asshole

Strike Three....Out One

So...like I said we are working with Akira's company installing some stuff for him...and it was suppose to be 1 store and then plus 60 or so more.  A great account right?  Nice of him right?....well...when we quote, it's not a quote, it's the flat rate price.  We don't do that bs contracting beating around the bushes because this is my company God damnit and I don't have time for bullshit.

....so I quoted Akira $3800....which is half of what any other company out there would give for this kind of job.  He got another contractor quoting him AT LEAST $2600...meaning they will double that once the job is done because...hey...that's contractors for you.

I told Akira all of this, and literally 5 min later I got this email....

Hey honey,

Don’t know if you saw this but this was the site that the new POS company (Micros) gave us.

When we were talking with Micros, they had a bracket that they used to supply for the KDS Monitors(see attached),

but apparently the part got discontinued and they “are still looking for a vendor to supply brackets and ceiling mounts”.

The vendor below was the one they referred us to – but we don’t know if they supply the one we need.

I think we will be fine with the quote for La Habra, but like I said, for the 2^nd store out it may be a bit difficult to keep going custom made.

It was decided today that we have you guys install this one but the construction crew will most likely take care of the rest.

I understand the work has to get started ASAP and you need the 50% prior to installment.

Please send us both invoices and I will have the IT department take care of the rest.

Thank you for your help!

Love,

Akira

_______________

First off, the construction company is a lie.  He's going to use another contractor for the rest.  If he was going to use the construction crew for the rest, he would use them for this project as well.

Once again....I really really hate how stupid men think I am.

It's a great price, and I think I deserve to make some money off a company that has made my life hell because Akira is basically their bitch which makes me Akira's bitch waking up at 3am to cook him dinner or something.

Fine.

You don't want to help us...fine....it's now my personal goal to fucking triple our profits by the time I leave without a single finger lifted from Akira.  Which is fine because we've been going strong without his help anyway.

You see this family....that's in my store an that's my family.  I'm my own damn mofia.

like I said before....I don't need pity jobs.  I'm about to get some blood all over these high heels.

Had some sugar and finished my cry

I know this all seems stupid and immature...

I just try so hard.   I mean, I really put my all into this relationship. I never cooked or cleaned or put on sexy outfits until I got with Akira.

I found all the above a bit demeaning when it's just solely one person's role to do those....chores...I guess.  Not that I never did those things, I grew up on a farm in Alabama so I'm like a master cleaner and an okay cook...and I try my best to get better at it all every single day. 

That includes sex.

I get it.  Japanese men are pervs and Japan is really indifferent to their insane sex industry...I get it.

I got the mags for him because I FELT BAD for not allowing strip clubs or hostess bars or anything like that because he's use to that stuff being fine and okay.  But it's not okay.  So I gave in an inch....porn.

Porn is okay.

Better then actual cheating.  Fine, you need an outlet, here's some porn. 

But to then take what I gave and rub my nose in it like I'm some kind of dog....

It's just mean.

Those outfits are not comfortable.  Thongs are not comfortable.  Waking up early and working out is not fun.  Cooking isn't something I enjoy and cleanig isn't either.   But I do it...for him.  He works 16 hour days....I try my best to make home as inviting as I can because I want to keep him home. 

I keep the sex going anytime, anywhere he wants it, as often as I can....because I want him to stay home.  And damnit, there's a lot of shit out there in the world and I'm not going to lose to some cheap piece of trash with no proper upbringing.  I have great breeding, my great great aunt wrote Uncle Tom's Cabin, my father worked for NASA, I have cousins who are sentors and my uncle is VP for the largest military company in the world.  On top of that Dad's family was minor royality in Iran (that's how my great grand father was governing one of the states in Iran) and my grandmother was sold into marriage slarvery at 11 years old because she was so beautiful, then the governer bought her, educated her, and well...that shit sticks.  I'm a lady.  I'm right down elegnant when my temper isn't being written down.  You can't even tell when I'm upset because God forbid I don't act lady like.

So for this lady to act like a sex slave piece of trash along with acting like a maid....then....to watch the man I love drag around a porn mag like a baby blanket while I walk past him in heels and lacy panties and don't even get a peck on the check for it....

Hell breaks loose.

I'm so pissed off.....I really wish I could just leave work early, take Dad's plane and fly until I stop shaking. 

it just hurts.  i don't understand how men don't understand how it hurts.

On top of that, I'm on the diet from Hell to try to please akira's family who won't even ACKNOWLEDGE ME!

I got the fucking prince of Saudi Arabia follow me around for YEARS and try to convince me over and over that he's a changed man and that I was a woman he wanted to see as a wife...but you know...for the S family...I'm just some fat white American girl who isn't fit for the family or for even finding out about.

Some people man.... 

It's been a lot of pride swallowing lately for me, and I'm about to snap.  I just hope to get this trip done as fast so I can go back to eating and blinking back tears from how insensitive men can get....

Porn

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Me Love You Long Time

I did a mistake I think....sexually....

Yesterday I wore under my little black dress....a full on set of naughty underwear...from the belted tight stockings, to laced pink and black bra-thong set...to four inch lace high heels....

I wore that crap all day long under my dress (I sent Akira pics of course to let him stew about it during the day...which he did).

Anyhow, Akira got off early, came to my office and brought me a box of Japanese treats...along with some nice bath stuff. 

Really sweet right? 

Very sweet.

So anyhow, the night progresses and well...he finished and passed out...and I was well...not done....

So I stayed awake until about 3am just as pissed off as I could be cause I really wasn't finished....it had been weeks since we've had rockin sex like that...I was blind folded and tied up...everything.  I worked that shit. 

So at 3am I go to the bathroom to just...well..deal with it myself, when out pops a beatle and I scream like bloody murder waking Akira up.  The poor guy...I let him have it.  I poured myself a glass of wine and just told him he was selfish, that he just passed out after all that...and the poor guy...he really didn't deserve that.  I rarely climax during sex.  I enjoy sex mainly for the closeness of it, but I really really insecure during the act of it...for some reason. 

But yeah...I feel horrible about how I tore into him.  And what an awful thing to do to a man...to shoot him down sexually...I may as well have cut off his balls while I was at it.

He's not selfish at all. 

So I came back into the room and started thanking him for everything, and telling him I was sorry that it was just really bad timing (it was), and that he's super generous with me...but...that it's nice to have stuff and things...I just missed him.  Which is true.  I really miss Akira when he goes into major work mode.  Dinners and trips and stuff...that's all fun...but....the best thing he can do is just hold me, love me, make love to me...like all the time, lol.  We could live in a box but as long as he was all over me, it's all good to me.  His kisses literally make me dizzy.  I love him like crazy.

I feel awful that I did that...I've said sorry to him over and over...but....I think the only thing that will fix it is if he succeeds a few times with me sexually...so I've got to get over my fear.   I get worried that I make weird faces...or that I'm too loud...or something I do will turn him off. 

But the blind folding last night...actually relaxes me...so...

He took a picture of me to show me what he sees during it cause I'm worried I look weird...and I still look weird...but at least he likes it. 

I love him so much...I just can't believe I couldn't keep my mouth shut....poor guy.  The last thing he needs right now is for me to pop the shit out of his ego bubble.  He needs the ego bubble right now.

I need to figure out how to restore it....so....any tips???

Maybe I should act super helpless this weekend... I dunno...  I want to get him a gift, but even that I doubt would do the trick. I have one more new naughty outfit yet to use...

Another blah blog post

You know....seven years of co-owning your own company...

It's going to suck ass to work for someone else besides myself.

*sigh*

I'm sure I'll make more money though...I hope....otherwise...life is a joke.

Akira is working with someone everyday *including weekends* for the next seven weeks....a girl he has had sex dreams about.  he made the mistake of telling who she was cause it made me remember the first week I spent with him he told me about this dream that made him feel extremely gulity.

I'm just going to try to write it off. 

She's jewish married to an Afghani guy anyway with three kids....she's tall and blonde (of course she's blonde...) 32 with three kids.  So..from what my mother has told me she's a bit of a pill to work with...but Akira, as usual, seems to be getting along well with her...

Just trying to keep my distance on that...I'll see her at the soft opeing anyway.

Other than that....

Akira took me to the sex store after we had a huge fight about him bossing me around all the time Friday (which made us lose our date that night)...actually he went on a major shopping spree this weekend, just getting a ton of stuff for the apartment.  I got stuff for the pets lol...at Unleashed which was horribly expensive...but...

So Monday I sent him some naughty pics in the outfits he got me, which he actually replied to positivitly...which has never happened...so...

I'm just aping up the sexy since I'm on a diet and feeling lighter.

anyhow...

Nothing besides work has been really going on.  We are suppose to take a trip to Kernville again for hot springing, tubing down the river, camping and meteor shower gazing...but since our last trip went to shit...I'm trying hard to not get overly excited.

Naseem (the half Japanese half Persian girl) is going to be in Japan the same time I will be...so that's good news! 

Least I have somewhere to run away to. 

Anyone have any good dieting tips?  Mainly on how to deal with hunger pains?

AHHHHHHH! I"M GONNA PUNCH EVERYONE AT WORK!

I swear, today has been an annoying day of old Persian men just yacking Dad's ears off....to angry customers to techs with major attitudes.  Makes me want to belt all of them on the ass for acting like such jerks.

Sometimes....I really miss working with women....sometimes.

Either way I usually get looked over...I'm not scary enough to enforce anytime unless I feel like getting sued (I threw coffee at one tech one time because he started commenting on my personal life...he's now my stepuncle...as luck would have it...we're getting along much better now, but back then man...I was like ice). 

Anyhow...

I'm too annoyed and I'm at work...which isn't helping me calm down...

*so...three hours has passed by since I started this post*

So I'm better now.

But I have no clue what I was going to write about.

I took some pics today cause I was bored, but I think I should just post them when they mean something cause otherwise that's just vain...

So thank you for reaading my meaningless post!